baratillo @ cubao : www.baratillo.net

There has been much discussion and talk about the Technophile and the Technophobe. But what about those between the Technophile and Technoweenie. We are posting this interview with world-renowned Academician, champion square dancer and Internet Psychiatrist Nemo Noone III BS, MBS, MEC and PhD Jr. And He is here to help us shed some light on the Technoweenie.

B@C:
What is Technoweenie? And do they really exist?
Noone:
Yes, they do exist and in large herds. Often congregating in large Metropolitan Cities. During the announcement of the GOD they hyperventilate and seem to dance a jig - but they are only excited. Similar to the dervishes of old. They seem to reach the state of excitement just with the announcement of the GOD.

B@C: GOD?

Noone:Oh, yes. The GOD or Gadget Of Desire. It is the object that is craved for by the Technoweenies. Just rumors of the GOD have been known to create hysteria in herds of Technoweenies, which often results in a large display of mass chattering and noise making. Such display was last observed in a flock of Violet Crested willow-wallies who mistook their captors as gravid females Willow-Wallies doing a mating dance.

Anyway, Technoweenies suffer from extreme form GAS or Gear/Gadget Acquisition Syndrome. It affects mostly but not limited to Geeks and Nerds. A pitiful group really. Such cranial power focused ninety percent of the tine on useless knowledge. Technoweenies suffer from the call, which is quite similar to the Vulcan condition of koon-ut-kal-if-fee. Remember the episode in Star Trek where Spock goes like A Salmon going upstream to planet Vulcan. Only to fight Kirk with the cotton buds from Hell?

B@C: So what differentiates them from a Technophile or Technophobe?

Noone: A Technophobe is a Luddite with extreme fear of any new Technology. The cause of fear ranges from the dream of robots taking over the world or watching Stanley Kubrik’s 2001 Space Odyssey. It is all ridiculous. Robots taking over the world , bah it will be Androids … Pink Androids.

A Technophile is someone who embraces technology with open arms. Especially if said technology is being given away for free.

B@C: And between the Technophiles and Technoweenies?

Noone: Vanity and Purpose. Technoweenies do not like to be called Technoweenies. They would rather be called Technosexual. It sounds more positive than the Technoweenie. And S-E-X-Y. Technophiles buy gadgets or gears to make use of it while Technoweenies buy the GOD as fashion accessories or visuals for dominance and biological desirability.

A Technoweenie goes under several stages when encountering the GOD.

Stage 1: Desire
Stage 2: Lust
Stage 3: Infatuation

Now depending on whether the GOD is purchased two things might happen:

Stage 4a: Depression - if the GOD was not obtained.
Stage 4b:Euphoria - if the GOD was obtained.

And Stage 4b leads to Stage 5: Post- Purchase-Depression from realizing cost of purchase. And leads to Stage 6: Justification. Followed by Stage 7: The Plateau. Until the arrival of the next GOD.

A good rule of thumb when discerning whether a person is a Technophile or Technoweenie aside from the change in demeanor, like babbling, giggling and babbling gibberish, is purpose. What is the person’s purpose in buying GOD? Will the GOD be used to the fullest or will it be used to do some stuff easily done on a gadget one tenth its price? It is purpose over vanity. Vanity thy name is Technoweenie. Not Technosexual but Technoweenie.

B@C:Thank you for answering our questions Dr Noone. Any final thoughts about the Technoweenie before we end this interview?

Noone: Ye. There is theory by a brilliant psyciatrist called the Noone Theory on Split Technoweenism. The theories state that each individual has in them predisposition to tbe a technophobe, technophile and technoweenie. The levels and intensity of each is dependent on the individual. And must be culturally sensitive in dealing with these set of individuals - no matter how crazy they are.